Blogs

• April 29, 2010

  Apologies

  posted by AmyRose

  I don't know where to begin or what words to jumble together to express how sorry I am for some of the things I said yesterday. I came off like a totally different person than I am (truly) because I let my emotions run wild. I would be lying if I didn't admit that I too, am at times an emotional mess and sometimes have the hardest time backing down, or biting my tongue. I said something on a post that after reading through, pissed me off. I wrote something without putting much thought into it, and then felt attacked. Before I knew it I was being attacked and before I could even explain what I meant or even attempt to fix it it was far too late. My mouth got me into trouble (again.)
  
  Let's get this straight... if I had known the things that Rose and others have been through, or maybe even thought to take an interest in WHO they are instead of letting their responses to me be the dictator for my words that followed, I would have never in a million years went that far. Rose might have mentioned she's not sorry to me, and that's okay. I wouldn't be if I were here either. I never meant that age has anything to do with how dedicated you are, how much of a fan you are, etc. It totally came off that way. I'm not quite sure why I said that. It was a first reaction. I was being upset by postings of 19 and 20 year olds and it just came out.
  
  I had to think back to when I was 14 years old on the Elektra site and someone OLDER (probably lower 20's) came in saying we weren't real fans because we hadn't been to as many shows, or met the band. I was livid. I was hurt. I was 14! Like my parents were going to send me off to concerts across the country or even 9 hours away (that was the closest) and I just went off. It sucked. I felt like I was a "good" fan and someone was using my young age against me. Like, it was something I could control.
  
  So all these years later, I realize I sunk that low too.
  
  But playing on the "emo" thing was truly meant to be a joke. I didn't really know what was going on with any of you, because honestly I distanced myself from caring, since in the past on site message boards I've just ended up hurt and upset. I've never been that good at opening myself up to anyone..I do realize you guys are awesome individuals with brains that are so sharp, so clever, and hearts that are so huge. I am sorry. I forgot the one thing about Third Eye Blind that won't change and cannot be broken... their fans, and how much they care.
  
  I think what made me feel bad, or realize it was gone a little to far (on my part) is when I was called a cold hearted bitch. Never in my life have these words described me. But looking at what I wrote I realized...that's is how I was ACTING.
  
  I guess since I've warn out my short posting history, I'll just go back to reading and keeping myself quiet. Like I said, I am sorry.